Those “Cueeeeeeeeeeeeto” chants don’t have nearly the same impact when only 43 people show up for the game. Attendance has basically been shitty this year so far, 23rd in the league.
I can’t criticize you guys that much because they weather has sucked almost as much as the offseason, but that’s not a good sign. If we’ve learned one thing it’s that not going to the park certainly didn’t make the Pirates spend more money. It’s still wildly early though. Maybe once Penguins playoffs are over and the weather breaks attendance will rise.
Going to the ballpark might be the only way for you to see tonight’s game. It won’t be on Root and there is some question as to whether or not it will be on MLBN. The schedule doesn’t list it but crazy grandpa Greg Brown said last night that it will be aired.
Therefore, who the fuck knows?
So yeah, Johnny Cueto. He is an okay pitcher.
Cueto actually addressed the Pirates locker room before the game. It’s unusual to do, but when you own the team you can basically do whatever you want. Here’s the video.
Clearly missing is Travis Ishikawa. He was actually outrighted by the Pirates and is expected to elect free agency.
His Pirates tombstone reads:
Here lies Travis Ishikawa, he was exactly what we thought he was.
Charlie Morton is making me sad. Twelve baserunners in six innings, five earned. In his last three games opponents have scored four or more runs every time he’s been on the mound.
He has had moments of absolute brilliance. It just hasn’t all come together for him. He’s giving up more hits and more homers than last year, while still hitting a seemingly unlimited amount of batters.
Whats scares me most is that he isn’t inducing groundballs at an obscene rate.
That makes me shudder. It gives me chills. It makes my buttcheeks clench. Charlie Morton needs groundballs. If Charlie Morton is not an extreme groundball pitcher Charlie Morton is going to have a hard time getting outs. If Charlie Morton has a hard time getting outs the Pirates will have a hard time keeping up on offense. If the Pirates have a hard time keeping up on offense, everyone says #FreePolanco. If the Pirates #FreePolanco some would have you believe financial armageddon would overtake this organization and they would face sure bankruptcy.
A good case can be made that keeping Gregory Polanco in AAA until June makes the most sense financially. If this team is out of it before June what does it fucking matter?
You’ll probably hear people talking about how good Morton is against the Reds. I could easily go back to 2011 and point out this…..
Does that matter? Not much. Last year he was 1-0 against the Reds in 2 starts, but he only threw 9.2 total innings. Less than five a start. We’re not talking Johnny Cueto constant ownage, we’re talking a guy that had a good season against the Reds. He has a losing record overall.
If he doesn’t keep the ball down, he’s probably gonna get the prison treatment.
Alfredo Simon aka Carlos E Cabrera aka random fucking 33 year old reliver turned into a dominant starter is looking to continue his dominance against the sometimes powerful, sometimes anemic Pirates offense.
Seriously. What the fuck?
“Oh, ya know, I feel like starting so why not just be the best starter in the damn league?”
Three starts, all quality. And I mean real quality, not the shit Pirates pitchers have been sliding by with and technically being quality.
Two runs in three games. Two runs in 21 innings. Just 13 hits in 21 innings. It’s inconceivable to think this can continue.
But why wouldn’t it be the Reds? Is this how other teams view the shit the Pirates constantly dig up and turn into decent starters?
Is this what Reds fans were saying last night as Edinson Volquez was going pitch to pitch with Johnny Cueto? Is this what they said about Jeff Locke last year? Or the resurgence of A.J. Burnett?
It’s just impossible to believe that a guy like Simon, literally a career reliever, could just suddenly be one of the best starters in baseball.
Therefore I don’t believe it.
He’s never made a start against the Pirates, but he’s had some outings, and a losing record!!!!!!!!!!
Not that a record matters, especially for a reliever.
Does anything matter though? Does anything in his history matter when he’s very clearly a different pitcher entirely?
First Pitch: 7:05 PM EST
Where To Watch: FS-O, MLB.TV (MLBN?????)
